Kiss
Puke
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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