Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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