I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
