Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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