Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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