im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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