The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?