Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.