Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!