Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
