Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
