I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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