I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
I will be naked everywhere
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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