At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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