I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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