I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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