Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
