after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
