i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
only if we run a train.
done.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
