ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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