I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
