all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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