Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
