Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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