life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
