Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
