i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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