I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
