dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
