Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
