I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
