Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
