The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
