I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
