Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
