i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
