It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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