he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
zippers are such a cool invention
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
