He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
