would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
