A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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