I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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