I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize