best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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