i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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