why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
