Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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