I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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