I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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