Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
