Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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