Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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