We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
