hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I touched a dick in church today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
