I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize