yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
