Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
