As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
