Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
