we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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