I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
