fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dick very happy bro
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
