yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She told me I should be a condom model.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
